The Writing Process

I just realized my writing process is really screwed up. I need a better way to continue to write without getting distracted. See, I want my future novel or novels to encompass a variety of audience members. I don't want just one group of people to adore my work the way I adore the works of other authors. I know its not easy to become a writer, and that it takes so much to actually create a work of literature, but I want it so badly. I want someone to pick up my book at night, and get pulled into each word, each sentence, each paragraph. I want every page to be an adventure, and when the book is finally over, I want each and every person to miss the characters within the story. I want them to adore the people I create, and I want them to understand the emotions each and every character faces. If I could predict which one of my many stories would be my crowning moment, I would do it. But I am fully aware that my writing process needs some extreme depth and extreme critique. If you have gotten fairly decent grades in any writing class, or you have a love for literature, please let me know. I need an editor, someone who believes in my abilities, and someone who is willing to take the plunge with me. I'm ready to explore my creative writing talents, but I cannot do it alone.

Thirteen Reasons Why

So, I'm currently reading a little bit of Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher every night and I just cannot put it down. If I didn't have to get up early every morning for work or my internship, man oh man, would I be reading it every second. I know that Selena Gomez has been chosen for the lead role of Hannah, but I wanted to cast my own group of teen starts that I think would fit each character :) here's my ideas -

Characters I still need to cast: Alex Standall; Ryan Shaver.
Some characters have honorable mentions, there are a lot of great actors and actresses out there!

Selena Gomez - Hannah Baker 
It is already said that Selena has agreed to do this movie as Hannah. I'm going to keep her in this spot because I feel it was a great decision on the casting director's part as well as on Selena's part for taking up a movie role like this. It is a break from her disney days, into something darker, and more emotional. Her fans will adore her in this film.

Max Thieriot- Clay Jensen
Max was featured in movies such as Nancy Drew, Chloe, Jumper, and My Soul to Take. I believe his acting ability to be strong enough to handle this type of emotional character. I have to admit, casting Clay was probably the hardest out of all characters. I feel like Max's exterior physical feature capture something different than a lot of the other young male stars I considered. Although, I wouldn't be opposed to an introduction of a completely original male lead, someone who is completely unknown, as long as he can bring that kindess to Clay's character.

Malese Jow - Jessica Davis 
Malese is beautiful, and as Hannah states in the book, she is much prettier than her. I do have to say Malese and Selena both have different qualities of beauty, they are both stunning. But Malese does have a very special ethnic qualities that provide a certain type of mystery and seduction. I just hope that she can pull off the difficult task of getting taken advantage of by a boy. She has taken on a role in The Vampire Diaries, and I think she could complete the role of Jessica beautifully.

Steven R. McQueen - Justin Foley 
You may recognize Steven as Jeremy Gilbert on The Vampire Diaries, but he's more than just that. To me, Steven has proven himself as a very special type of actor. His ability to provide the cast of Vampire Diaries with someone innocent and young, but still intelligent and romantic gives the viewers a breath of fresh air! He would be perfection in the interactions between Hannah and Justin, the innocence in their relationship, his betrayal, and the terrible event they both witness.

Katie Cassidy - Courtney Crimsen
I really liked Katie in 7th Heaven, but I'm not sure the depth of her acting skills. She has been on Gossip Girl and Melrose place, so her resume is amazing. Hopefully she could pull off a character as nice as Courtney can be, and also as mean as she can be.

Aaron Johnson - Tyler Down
Aaron was seen in movies such as The Illusionist, Kick-Ass, and Nowhere Boy. I think his look is perfection for the creepy character of Tyler. I pictured Tyler to be a little rugged, with longer hair and physical depth. I think Aaron has the acting ability to provide Tyler with that sense of disgusting terror necessary for a peeping tom.

Aly Michalka - Jenny Kurtz
Aly is beautiful, and young. She could be a cheerleader, in fact isn't she on a show where she plays a cheerleader?? I hope that she can provide Jenny with the dynamic of trying to be Hannah's friend and also causing something terrible to happen. I would need to see her and Selena interact, but I have faith in miss Aly.

Dev Patel - Zach Dempsey
When I saw Dev's picture online it occurred to me how much I loved him in Slumdog Millionaire. This  19 year old has such great acting abilities I feel like he could bring on a whole new level to Zach. I don't think Zach has that big of a role in Hannah's life, but he does make a lot of appearances, and I feel like Dev could be a perfect best friend character. Plus, he's extremely attractive and provides the film with a little diversity.

Carter Jenkins - Bryce Walker 
Coming across Carter's photo just made me literally clap my hands. His whole persona is just oozing Bryce. He is attractive, dark, mysterious, hot, but dangerous. He could pull of the difficult role of Bryce. His character may be unbelievably disgusting and horrible, but I really think Carter could pull this off.

William Moseley - Marcus Cooley 
William, ah what a beautiful actor. You and I both know him as Peter from the "Narnia" films, but don't you think he deserves another role after sequel after sequel? I know I do. I think he would be great as Marcus, the cute, attractive, class clown, funny man. Even though he thinks he can get away with making moves on Jenna, he's still cute, and she still goes out with him, so this boy has to be pretty attractive. William can hold onto a strong male role, and I believe he's proven himself in the "Narnia" films, but he needs a change, Marcus could be that great role change.

Writing a Novel.

Here's a sneak peak at something I've been working on, please leave feedback, because it is a work in progress.

Introduction:

It’s never about whether you’re ready or not. The game of hide and seek fools children into thinking that they will receive warnings for things coming next. It doesn’t work that way in life. If it did a lot of people would probably object. “Ready or not? I’m not ready.” They would say, but you can’t stop these things, you can’t actually have a caution sign at every obstacle you face in your life. Obstacles will come, and they will challenge you, and hopefully they will make you stronger. So the next time you’re playing hide and seek, don’t give your hiders an extra warning. You’re coming to find them whether they like it or not, whether they are up for the challenge or not, whether they are ready or in my case, not.

“I do not want to come with you.” I gasped for air as a tear rolled down my cheek. “I have always regretted saying that I would think about it when the truth is I had made up my mind way before you even asked.” His eyes hurt me; two crystal blue pools of sharp glass cutting every inch of my body. His tan complexion drove my senses wild, but I was not going to lose everything to him again, I’d done it once, and that was already enough. “You broke me. I am like this because of you. And I can't stand here and pretend that everything is okay when every day I become more and more miserable.”

He didn’t even respond. One tear rolled down his cheek. By this time I was bawling. That one tear was all the words I needed to hear. That one tear, combined a whole collection of emotions. The emotions he refused to share with me, the thoughts I knew he was thinking, all came out. In that one tear, my whole vision became blinded as his tall frame crumbled before me.

The words echoed in my mind, “ready or not…” I shuddered as a steady breeze rustled the nearby trees. My brown hair was picked up by the soft wind; it tangled and stuck to my tear stained cheeks. I bent down to see the strongest man I had ever come to love collapse before me. I had taken his world and turned it upside down, and then shook it up and down. The sight of us crouched on the cold cement sidewalk was a picture that could break anyone’s heart.

His watery eyes stared into mine as I struggled to catch my breath. It wasn’t going to be easy to stop my eyes from continuing to waterfall onto my cheeks, but I knew it was the only way I could end this for good. His stare made me want to do so many different things, so I avoided his gaze, stood up, allowing my stiletto heels to click onto the ground. I took exactly four steps away from him, changing my future forever. I shed one last tear and quickly brushed it from my cheek. I turned back to face him, struggling to hide all emotion. I extended my hand out to him, and as he reached for it, I let the 3 karat diamond engagement ring fall into his palm. The pain I could see in his eyes made my heart explode, but I had to do this. I had to. Ready or not, this was the only way to become ready, if I hadn’t been prepared enough. I turned back around, away from him, and took those same four steps, but instead of facing him again, I took a fifth step, and by the time I realized it, I was over 400 steps away. I got into my car, and drove.

Ready or not, here I come.

Day 1: 

“Leanne,” my eyes were glued to the computer screen. The blurred vision of the letters typed out onto the blank word document made my senses ache. I had been staring at the same four words for approximately 20 minutes.

“It’s time for you to go home,” Frank was standing around the corner of my desk. He shook his head and handed me a stack of papers. “New York?” His questioning tone made me realize that there was an assignment I had to complete. I nodded, sending my arm across my desk and toward the papers.

“What time is the flight?” my voice was jagged, dreary, and unemotional. His eyebrows came down to the center of his forehead. They almost touched as he gently grabbed my arm.

“Are you sure you’re,” he paused, “Are you sure you want to take this trip? Why don’t you just take some time off?” His expression told me that he was not truly worried about me, but more worried about the job. Frank cared, but only about his company.

“Frank, I will be okay.” I started rustling through the stack of papers he handed to me. There were ten forms I needed to fill out before the conference and I knew that these were not average company policy sheets. They took depth and creativity, something I was lacking, but to keep the company together, I had to hold it together.

I could feel his gaze continue to stare at the top of my head. “Is there anything else I can help you with Frank?” the sound of my voice was foreign to my ears. He smiled with sadness shining through his entire stare. As he shook his head, I could feel the building wash over with silence. Eighty percent of the staff had already gone home and those who were left were engulfed in some sort of online conference. I knew none of them were paying attention to the conversation I was struggling to end. I stood up out of my chair, pulling my bag onto the desk. I rustled through to find my keys. Gathering the stack of papers he had just handed me, I pulled out a water bottle. Frank winced as he saw the engraving on the side. “Bridal Boutique” was written in calligraphy. It didn’t occur to me that even my supervisor would have the same reaction as I previously had only 8 hours ago. How did every day things obtain so much power over our emotions? I brushed off his concern and smiled unsure of what to do or say next.

“Well, if that is all you need from me, I think I will be going home for the night. May I ask what time my flight leaves tomorrow?” I straightened out my blazer trying to keep my hands busy. I did not want to pick up the water bottle; I did not want to pull attention to it again. I kept thinking to myself, maybe I should just leave it here, but that could be worse, then everyone will see it. Frank just would not leave, his concern made me uncomfortable but I knew he was just being the awkward man who somehow obtained the highest position in the company.

“The company car will pick you up at 6:45 tomorrow morning. Do you want them to come to your new place of residence? If you do I will need that address,” he lost confidence at the end of his sentence. I pulled a sticky note from the side of my computer monitor. Keeping them there always seemed the best for me, right at the perfect level to grasp. Any notes I had to leave for myself were always seen. I quickly wrote down an address, an apartment, forty-five blocks from the office building. I knew it was far enough away from downtown that no one, would ever think to come visit me, without notice.

I handed him the note and quickly picked up the water bottle throwing it under my arm. Some water spilled out onto the floor, as I slammed the nozzle shut. Frank uncomfortably turned toward his office door, signaling a wave that only made it half way. His had fallen down to his side as his back finally turned to me. My heels clicked on the cement floor as I made my way to the elevator. It was 9:30 at night and I knew that there was no chance in the world I would run into anyone at this hour. People seemed to leave the office around 8 or even 10, but in between those two hours, people seemed glued to the work they were completing. I knew this because, I paused at the thought. It was our time in the office, his and mine. I shook off the memories as I exited at the first story. Walking out toward the curb I raised my hand to hail a taxi. Leaving my car at the company garage was the best idea for the weekend. My apartment parking was nowhere near as safe as the company lot. I sat in the back of the taxi, told the driver my address. He drove, I closed my eyes. He stopped at a red light; I fiddled with the only ring left on my hand. He pulled over to let me out, I handed him the money. He drove away, I unlocked the apartment door. The yellow taxi disappeared down the street; I crumbled to the floor, my apartment door slamming behind me. Tears filled my eyes pouring out all over my face. I sobbed even when there were no more tears left.  It was over. And it taken a full day of work to realize that it was only 15 hours ago that it was over. The end had happened. Was I ready for this? 

Adele 21

When I was younger I LOVED to listen to music while I fell asleep. It really calmed me down and made my dreams amazing. I don't know when I stopped doing this, but recently I bought Adele's new album, 21, because I had already fallen in love with a few of the songs, and I can't tell you how amazing it is to fall asleep to these songs. I mean of course listening to them awake is perfection as well, but I'm telling you, if you need an album to put as your sleep mix, this one is it. The songs have a retro, vintage feel, and even the upbeat songs are still soft enough to fall asleep to. It's not an album that I would dance to at the club, its much more emotional and meaningful. 

Track List, in order of my favorites right now :)

1. Turning Tables
2. Someone Like You
3. Rumor Has It 
4. Rolling In The Deep
5. Set Fire To The Rain
6. I Found A Boy
7. One And Only
8. Hiding My Heart
9. Don't You Remember
10. I'll Be Waiting
11. He Won't Go 
12. Take It All
13. If It Hadn't Been For Love
14. Lovesong

Plus there are Live Acoustic versions of Someone Like You, Turing Tables, and Don't You Remember.

I thought it was going to be really easy to order her songs from what I like the most to what I don't like but truthfully I like all of the songs, and right now the top 5 almost top 6 I have memorized. I already know all of the choruses for each song, so I'm telling you, this Album is the one to get. Plus the lyrics are just mesmerizing!

Love,

Kayla

Taylor Swift

I sit here tonight thinking about this new contest 107.9 The End just announced. A chance to work for Taylor Swift. I don't know any details, or any interesting facts about the contest, just that it involves Taylor, and that it will happen sometime soon. I sat back and watched the hundreds of facebook comments, twitter replies, and videos spring up, asking for the amazing opportunity to meet and work for an amazing role model and it hit me. There are so many wonderful, amazing people who deserve to have their dreams come true. 

I guess I sat back and thought about how excited I would be if I received that opportunity, but then again, I would strongly want to give it to someone else. 

If I strive to make other people's life's better, then I cannot be selfish. I have to give a lot, without expecting to get anything in return. I have to allow others to find their happiness, in order to find my own. 

I'm going to try to win this contest, but not for myself, for someone else. And if out of some miracle I do win, I will ask if there is any way I could give it away, to someone much more deserving. 

I'm only one person in this huge world, but I will not allow my own desires to blind me from seeing how amazing this experience would be for a young girl of 13. If I was allowed to meet and work for my favorite artist at 13, my whole life would be different. 

One act of kindness at a time, I will make this world a much better place.