Change the future

The question that has been on my mind a lot lately is "Where do I start?" 

I guess it is an open ended question, because you're not really sure what I am talking about. Well, I'm about to tell you. Every time I get an assignment for school, or for work, even if I'm just thinking about cleaning up my apartment, the thought "Where do I start?" always crosses my mind. I can't say for sure if I think this out loud or in the own silence of my mind, but I know it is there. I am sure it is there. For things like a school assignment or a work related project, I can clearly find the beginning point. For those things, it is like a race, start here, end here. Plain, simple, easy, done. 

And here comes the time when I could not answer this question myself. I'm going to graduate from college in just a few weeks. I need a career, I need a job. And truthfully, I'm scared out of my mind. There is no clear beginning, no clear end. All that i can see is a vast, open, big, huge, scary, world full of possibilities. 

Now, can someone please tell me "Where do I start?"

Passing Notes

I brought up on Facebook recently how badly I miss passing notes in class. Granted, I am a college student and there aren't many things I want to say to my fellow classmates, but still, note writing I believe is a lost art form. I can go back to elementary school memories and find a few that hold treasured occurrences of passing notes during class. And then I think about middle school, where notes were the ONLY way to communicate with your friends in secret. Then there is high school, freshman and sophomore year I remember notes, but those thoughts seem to fade through junior and senior year. I guess that is when I got my first text-capable cell phone. And thats where this sickening feeling in my stomach happens.

What are future generations going to experience?

Cell phones are given to kids at such a young age now, I can't even tell when texting will take over the note writing experience. Maybe it already has...

I remember losing a few notes, and panicing. I remember coloring my notes all beautiful. I remember folding them in really awesome shapes. I remember passing notes to more than one person. I remember getting caught passing notes. I remember the first note I got where a boy asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember the first note I got that told me my best friend was dating the guy I liked. I remember notes that made me laugh out loud during class. And I remember that the reason why these notes were so much fun, was because they were personalized, hand written, and they took skill to be sneaky.

I have a cousin who is in 7th grade, and the next time I see him, I'm going to ask him if he writes people notes, or sees girls passing notes in class... I really hope he says yes. If he references anything to cell phones and text messaging, I just might cry.

2012 - My Year

It is finally 2012. I think I have been waiting for this year since 2004. I had so many different things in mind for this year. College graduation, turning 22, finding a career to call my own, becoming an adult. And now, it is finally here. I sit back and think about exactly what 2012 meant to me back when I was 14, 16, 18. It meant personal freedom, life achievements, and wisdom. It signaled the end of my undergraduate life and a start of my adult, career life. But now that this year has arrived, I am more scared of what's next than I have ever been before.

When I started high school I knew I wanted to go to college. I knew exactly how I wanted my future to turn out. I had a strong drive to make it into a 4 year University. And after 4 years of tedious hard work, I did just that. The satisfaction of getting into a great college was something that I can't really describe in words. It was really one of the most gratifying days of my life. And I could lie to you and say that I chose UC Davis, but truthfully UC Davis chose me. I wish I could tell you with confidence that I always knew I wanted to be a communications major, but the truth is, I didn't. I thought business was my way to success and true passion, but it wasn't. Life took a major turn for me when I got my acceptance letter to UC Davis. And life will change yet again when I get my diploma from UC Davis.

I have no doubts in my mind that 2012 will be a fantastic, amazing year. Although I am already nervous about what I will do after June 16, 2012. People have been asking me the past year, "What are you going to do when you graduate?" And I usually reply with, "Cry, a lot." I can guarantee you that will be what will happen after my 4 years are over. Some tears will be out of happiness, but the rest will be because of my fear of the unknown.

For my whole life, college has been the future. Now that this accomplishment is almost behind me, where do I go next? I guess I have to plan for another broader future, because the one goal I have set for myself at the young age of 13, is finally close enough for me to touch.

To anyone else going through this same grieving process of letting go of your own youth, please feel free to share with me your concerns as well. I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way.